..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize