no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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