Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
