You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
