let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
