Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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