like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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