I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
