all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
