On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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