Define "chronic" masturbator.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The air taste purple.
Randomize
