I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
