I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
