would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
