Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
