I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
