from now on my penis is your penis
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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