Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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