Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
they need to just BURY HIM!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
where are my pants?
in the oven.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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