You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
