who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
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I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
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He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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