Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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