WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
