he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
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