I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
