lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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