That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Blood and glitter go together right?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
