I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
