please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
