Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
