My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
