I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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