Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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