I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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