Your face is a jimmy john
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
