i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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