but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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