So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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