just come out here and I will go home with you...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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