I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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