I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
