Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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