So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
