This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
