I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
