Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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