o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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