hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
