I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
