Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
