hell yes lets make some ravioli
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
