It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
