She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
