Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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