I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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