I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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