I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
