i need an iv and a liver transplant
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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