Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
This is not my ceiling
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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