WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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