i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
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i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
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I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
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