why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
