I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
