I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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