Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
