Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
