I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
being pregnant is like rehab
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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