I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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